The John Report: The WWE Raw Deal for 05/09/11 (Miz/Rey/Del Rio)

The WWE Raw Deal for 05/09/11 (Miz/Rey/Del Rio)
By John Canton
Follow me on Twitter @johnreport

Live from Knoxville, Tennessee this is the Raw Deal…

Alberto Del Rio came out to start the show. The bickering announcers were Josh Mathews, Michael Cole (in the Cole Mine) and Jerry Lawler. This was a very long promo segment to begin the show. Del Rio came out to say that it’s still his destiny be a champion and that destiny can be delayed. In other words, the booking team changes their mind a lot. Ricardo Rodriguez was great at yelling his name. Rey Mysterio came out to say that Del Rio’s destiny was to be Ricardo’s ring announcer, which excited Ricardo, then Del Rio looked at him and Ricardo stopped. Ricardo is great. Then Miz came out to say he is the number one contender, blaming Riley for the loss last week. Miz told Del Rio & Mysterio to fight in a Taco Bell parking lot. That’s classy.

The last man to come out was R-Truth, who still doesn’t have theme music. He put over how he took out John Morrison, who is in the hospital after neck surgery. That’s legit. They showed a video package because Truth is an “angry black man” that has friends in the production truck I guess. Morrison’s only out for about 4-6 weeks, so we’ll see him at the end of June most likely. I loved Truth’s ranting. His babyface character bored the hell out of me. To see this heel act is refreshing. The GM buzzed in to say it will be a triple threat: Del Rio, The Miz and…he apparently hit send before he was done. That was so lame. End the stupid GM angle. Then they announced Mysterio as the third guy. Truth was furious about it. He left the ring and the three others started fighting with Mysterio predictably looking the best. It was a good setup for the main event although it dragged at points too. Miz and Truth were the best on the microphone during this.

Kelly Kelly & Eve Eve d. The Bella Twins (DUD)
Yawn. A minute in, Kelly won with a rollup. The divas division on Raw especially is awful right now because of who they decide to put on TV. After this thrilling one minute match, Kharma came out and stalked the girls. The Bellas ran away because heels actually have brains while the idiot duo of Kelly & Eve waited for her. Kelly was smart enough to go the floor. Eve kicked Kharma and got decked. Then Kharma stalked Kelly some more until she left. Then Kharma put down Eve with the yet unnamed move previously known as The Implant Buster. She finally went after a babyface. I like how they are using Kharma. Since I don’t care much about the four that were in this match, I approve of this segment. It will be fun to see Gail or Beth involved with her.

Kane d. Mason Ryan via DQ (1/2*)
It only went about two minutes because they know Ryan can’t work a lick…yet he’s still getting pushed. Punk is basically a nobody these days without any promo time. Let’s hope he signs that new contract. Show KNOCKED HIM THE FUCK OUT~! when he interfered. Nexus guys ran out for the DQ, Show & Kane took care of them and then did a double chokeslam on Ryan. He shouldn’t roll after taking the chokeslam. Sell it by lying there next time. Also his facial expressions are too fake. They are almost comical rather than mean like they are supposed to be.

Dolph Ziggler d. Santino (SQUASH)
The “new and improved” Dolph Ziggler is what they called him. The only thing that’s new is the hair. He still has the same awful name and song. He’s not awful, but the name is. They said he’d be a future WWE Champion. Isn’t he a former World Champion due to some of the worst booking I’ve ever seen regarding a title? Yes, he is. Not allowed to remember that. He won with the Zig Zag after he countered the dreaded Cobra. Why do they feel like they should re-introduce Dolph? He’s been there for years. Get him a feud.

They showed a great video package about Orton beating Christian for the World Heavyweight Title. Like I wrote in my piece on Sunday about Smackdown’s new World Title picture this is likely the beginning of a Christian heel turn. The video package was great. I suggested they do one while focusing on Christian post match. They did exactly that. I’m definitely more interested in Smackdown than I am in Raw these days. The announcers talked about it at the desk with Lawler saying the fans chose Orton. What a shock since the choices were Mark Henry and Great Khali. Good thing Hornswoggle wasn’t a choice.

Backstage, there was a heel promo with R-Truth yelling at Scott Stanford about “Little Ronnie.” I doubt I’m the only one that was confused by this. Doesn’t matter. He’s a heel and he’s angry. Fine by me. He made Stanford say “What’s Up?” and left. He’s angry. We get it.

John Cena was shown talking to Zack Ryder (as the internet gets excited), who taught him how to fist pump. Cena kept walking, then looked back and Zack was still fist pumping. Broskis around the world celebrated this moment. Give Zack a chance, I say.

Backstage, Miz talked with Riley. Miz mentioned how he’s an idiot for screwing up last week and even threw in the word troglodyte during the promo. Go Jericho go! Miz said he was all jacked up with the brain of a monkey – I think that was a shoot comment on half of WWE’s roster! Anyway, Riley wanted to prove something to Miz.

The camera stayed on Riley as he walked out to the ring. He said the only person he cared about was The Miz. Um, that’s a little weird. He challenged Cena. I was hoping he’d talk about how ridiculous his role with Miz has been even after being “fired” and drafted to Smackdown.

John Cena d. Alex Riley (1/2*)
Oh great, it’s a rematch of their awful cage match. Cena won in about three minutes. He hit two AA’s and the STF for the win as The Miz looked on from the aisle. At least they didn’t give away who was going to win the main event by doing this, right? Oops. I guess they did. No more high profile matches for Alex Riley on Raw please. He’s not good enough.

Michael Cole had a big announcement. He was retiring as a wrestler…undefeated. Lawler didn’t agree, so he challenged him to a match. Cole reminded him of the “can’t touch Cole” stipulation that the GM put in place months ago. They mentioned the Hall of Fame, so Lawler said if Cole beats him again he will give him his Hall of Fame ring and personally induct him. Cole said no. Then he went back to his Cole Mine to mention Mother’s Day and how Lawler couldn’t celebrate because his mom died in February. That’s some very, very cheap heat right there. In good taste? No. Lawler went after Cole, but Swagger went after Cole before he could get him. Please end this feud. Why is it continuing? The heat has been sucked out of it as much as possible. It went from very good to painful to watch.

Kofi Kingston d. Jack Swagger (*1/2)
It went about 8 minutes with a commercial after the first two minutes. It was fine, but they had much better matches on Smackdown in late 2010 and early 2011. They often times got 15 minutes too. This felt rush. It also felt like filler because the US Title’s value has diminished to the point that it means less than a feud with bickering announcers. Lawler came back out at the end to distract Swagger, which led to Kofi hitting Trouble in Paradise to win.

Post match, Lawler took care of Swagger and went after Cole. He grabbed Cole by the time, pulled it through one of the holes and then Cole’s face was comically pressed up against the glass. I’d post a pic of it, but I’d like to get that image out of my head as fast as I can. Eventually refs broke it up. To end this whole thing, Swagger accepted the challenge for Cole meaning it’s Cole vs. Lawler at Over The Limit in a few weeks. Fine. Lawler wins clean. End the feud. Please.

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The Miz d. Alberto Del Rio & Rey Mysterio to become the Number One Contender to the WWE Title (***)
This was a very good 13 minute match. It saved the show from being a total disaster because they really needed a good match. It was the typical triple threat match with two guys working and the third guy breaking up the fall. It’s a formulaic match, but it usually works well. I don’t think anybody should be surprised that Miz won. It even got leaked a few days earlier on the website of the Key Arena in Seattle where the Over The Limit PPV is taking place. The chemistry of all three guys was really good, so that’s what matters to me. Miz ended up winning with a rollup on Mysterio after Riley broke up a pinfall by pulling Del Rio out right in front of the ref. I guess that’s not DQ worthy. Sometimes triple threats are no DQ even though nobody chooses to use weapons. Why am I trying to use logic? Just end the show.

Post match, John Cena announced that this time when he faces Miz there will be no doubt about the winner. It will be an “I Quit” match. Cena hasn’t beat Miz in a singles match…since Miz has been a main eventer, so I guess in WWE’s eyes this is fresh. Mysterio was still in the ring, so the camera showed him just as R-Truth attacked him with his finisher. There’s a PPV match right there.

Three Stars of the Show
1. The Miz – He did a good job in the main event plus he said “troglodyte” in a promo, so that’s an ode to Jericho coming back soon I hope.
2. Kharma – Every time she crushes a diva I cheer even if she is a heel…I think.
3. R-Truth – I enjoy the heel act a lot. It’s different. It allows him to stand out.

4 out of 10
Last week: 7
2011 High Score: 9.1 (March 28)
2011 Low Score: 4 (Jan. 10)
2011 Average: 5.99
Last 5 Weeks: 6, 5, 5, 7, 4

It was a below average show, as has been the trend since WrestleMania. It’s not a surprise because this is what usually happens in WWE. Post WrestleMania usually has the worst shows of any time in WWE. Maybe after Over the Limit we’ll get some new storylines. Aside from R-Truth as a heel there’s very little freshness.

I guess the story of the show was about Riley, who previously lost a match where he was fired from Miz’ employ only to be brought back weeks later, proving himself to Miz. That’s why this show came off as lame. This story needs to end at the May PPV. Much like Cole vs. Lawler, it’s been done to the point that it’s not a good story anymore. Learn to move on, creative team.

I think Truth vs. Mysterio could be a really good match at the PPV. Like I say every week I like heel Truth way more than the babyface version. Del Rio needs a feud. He should be wrestling at every PPV. It’s not like Raw is loaded with babyfaces for him to wrestle against. The same can be said for Dolph Ziggler. You can put one of them against Kofi Kingston perhaps, but both of those feuds have happened on Smackdown in the last few months.

Last thing. A week ago I put a poll up asking whose career column you most want to see. The results…

Christian won, barely beating Jericho while Rock and Angle were very close. As much as I like Christian I think there’s a lot of his story that is going to be told before our eyes in the coming weeks and months, so instead I’m going to write about Jericho at the end of May. I know his career isn’t over, but I think what I could write is something that covers his entire career while looking at ahead at what may be next as he embarks on his next WWE comeback in the near future. I guess this means I’m looking past Christian just like Vince McMahon! Sorry.

I’m not sure if I’ll write again this week. I’ll be out of two from Thursday to Saturday, so it will be difficult. I’ll likely be back on Sunday night to write about TNA’s Sacrifice PPV live. Until then, have a great week.

John Canton – john@thejohnreport.net
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