SmackDown starts with Maria interviewing the Ying Yang Twins. After some exchanges with Vince and Coach, where Coach embarrasses himself by calling the Ying Yang Twins the kings of country, we are off to the ring. Batista arrives, impeccably dressed in a suit. The crowd loves Batista and he takes the microphone and says that Khali is using his rematch clause for a Punjabi Prison match with him at the No Mercy PPV. Mark Henry interrupts the proceedings and makes his way to the ring. He announces his upcoming match with the Undertaker at the next SmackDown. After some smack talk to Batista, Henry challenges Batista to a warm up match. He tells Batista, “I won’t even take a shot at your precious title, because all these people know…that if I want that belt, I’ll take it whenever I want it.” Batista tell Henry he’s as “stupid as he is ugly.” And that he’s got a “Batista beatdown coming.” Match scheduled!
After another brief segment with Maria, the Twins and Jeff Hardy, we go to the first match:
Jimmy Wang Yang vs Jamie Noble
Wang Yang starts off with some high flying moves and then takes Noble to the corner for some head shots before Noble turns it around. Noble bodyslams him and then works the arm. Some mat time ensues until Wang Yang punches his way out of it. Off the ropes and Noble takes him down with a heel kick to the jaw. Wang Yang gets some more offense but finds himself back on the mat in the throes of more arm work by Noble. Noble thinks he sees Hornswoggle in the front row and goes over to him, but it turns out to be Shannon Moore playing a joke on him. Wang Yang comes off the top turnbuckle on top of Noble on the floor while Moore looks on laughing. Wang Yang rolls Noble back in and a backflip moonsault off the top turnbuckle gets the pin.
Winner: Jimmy Wang Yang
Backstage, Matt Hardy and MVP are throwing footballs through a tire that is suspended from the ceiling. MVP scores one of two throws, Matt scores two out of two and his third is intercepted by MVP. MVP insists he’s “better” than Hardy and with that, they announce their upcoming match.
MVP & Matt Hardy vs Deuce & Domino
This is the usual MVP & Hardy tag team match, with MVP and Hardy having their disagreements as to the way the match should be handled. We are treated to a commercial break during this match, one of the most annoying things the WWE does during their shows. After a long sequence of ring action by MVP, Hardy is back in the ring, working over both Deuce and Domino. A Side Effect and Hardy calls for the Twist of Fate. Hardy delivers a neckbreaker after MVP tries to tag and MVP enters the ring to argue with Hardy. The distraction allows Domino to get a rollup on Hardy for the win.
Winners: Deuce & Domino
Michael Cole introduces Rey Mysterio. Mysterio congratulates Batista but says one day he’ll win the belt again. Cole asks him about the “I Quit” match and Mysterio starts talking about how much it meant to him. JBL gets involved in the conversation, calling it a “love fest” and says Mysterio is a disgrace the country and to the show. Mysterio reminds JBL of the time he made JBL retire and challenges JBL to a rematch. JBL says he can’t take on wrestlers with his announcer’s contract, but he has someone who can take his place. Finlay comes out and attacks Mysterio with a microphone.
After the Raw Rebound, a recap of Cena and Orton, we go backstage for more people wandering around, anticipating the wedding. Following that, it’s the Diva Search Limbo Contest. Then onto Jagged Edge arriving and singing for Kristal. Back to the ring – finally – for the next match.
Batista vs Mark Henry
When we come back from a commercial, Henry is working over Batista. Batista takes Henry off his feet with a clothesline, a spectacular sight. Back into the corner and Henry headbutts him, then charges with a clothesline. Batista is rocked and Henry clotheslines him again in the corner. Batista drops, looking like he’s out of it. Henry chokes him on the ropes, then bodyslams him as though Batista weighed nothing. Batista makes a comeback and when he gives Henry a spinebuster, the crowd goes wild. Sadly, we hear Khali’s music, interrupting it all. Khali makes his way down the ramp and Batista goes out to meet him, kicking him and punching him and then diving back toward the ring to spear an oncoming Henry. Khali hits a huge punch and Batista goes down like a fallen tree. Khali slams Batista into the steel stairs and then throws him back in the ring. Khali goes in after him and whips him into the ropes. A boot to the face drops Batista. Khali signals for the Vice Grip and as the ref tries to get Khali to break it, Henry clotheslines Batista out of it. Khali stretches Batista out with Batista’s own Batista Bomb and straddles him as the pandemonium ends.
Winner: No Contest
The “Wedding of the Century” is next and takes up the remainder of the show. No wrestling, just the antics of Teddy Long’s and Kristal Marshall’s “wedding.” Attended by just about every performer on all brands. Don’t know if this was intended, but Kristal takes a tumble walking up the stairs in her long dress and one wonders why all the bystanders, including her own bridesmaids, watching her have trouble with the stairs, don’t help her. Long story short, as Teddy is about to say “I do,” he clutches his chest and falls to the mat.
What was it all about this week?
Three matches in two hours? Doesn’t seem to be what one would expect for a wrestling show.