RAW this week starts with Jericho, out back, on the screen. He introduces himself as the best in the world and talks about Bragging Rights. There will be a 7 on 7 match to see who’s the best, RAW or SD! He appears on both shows, but he’s primarily on SD! So he’s been named captain of the SD! team. Nancy O’Dell walks in and says they don’t start RAW with him, they start with DX. She smiles at him. He asks who she thinks she is. She says she’s Nancy O’Dell, the guess host or RAW. She smiles. He sneers again.
DX’s music and HHH comes out, no sign of HBK! HHH’s back pockets – dark blue jeans – are chock full of glow sticks he’s tossing out to the fans. HHH poses, throws sticks and gives the DX sign. Even King asks where HBK is. One of the ring guys ends up in the ring and HHH has him run around him the way HBK does and then hand HHH the mic. Then HHH throws him out of the ring – not physically. The fans are hot! “DX” chants. There’s a pair of signs in the crowd that look like HHH and HBK from their shirts/hats/etc. The cartoon DX guys. Their arms move so the signs can crotch chop the same as HHH and HBK. HHH says they’re going to do things a little differently tonight because it’s not a usual night. “Are you ready?” “No, Indianapolis, are you ready?” HHH goes on and for HBK who’s not here… The fans boo and HHH says he’s as upset saying that they were supposed to be out there together promoting their RAW team and how well they will do at BR. But he got a call from HBK saying he couldn’t come. More heat from the fans. HHH says he looks at it like this, he can move on, set up the RAW team from bragging rights, or he can call his friend at home and badger him on live TV. He asks the fans if he should call. They love this. He tells them to bear with him as he’s not technical. Speed dial HBK. It rings and HBK’s music comes up and it’s a horrible answering machine message to his HBK music. Suddenly HBK picks up and says he’s sorry about that. HBK asks if HHH heard the message. HHH says that they didn’t hear him singing his outgoing message. HBK sounds mortified. HHH then says he’s standing there with 15,000 members of the DX Army. The fans go wild. HHH says they all want to know where he is. HBK says his daughter is sick. HHH says it’s too bad and asks if she’s okay. HBK says he’s been able to get most of the vomit out of his hair and off his shirt. Actually, HHH called at a good time as he just put her to bed and read her a story. HHH pulls out a copy of their new book and gives it a cheap plug while asking if HBK read to her from it. HBK says no he wouldn’t read her that piece of trash, I mean, of course he did! What child wouldn’t want to hear stories of her father sticking heads of his opponents up backsides of other individuals. HHH says he reads it to his kids all the time. It’s full of good stories and pictures too. HHH opens up and shows the picture of them shoving Vince’s head up Big Show’s ass. HHH says he’ll let him go deal with his family and hopes everyone feels better. He asks everyone to say goodbye to everyone. HBK says goodbye to Indianapolis and Hunter. HHH says that now that they know where HBK is, they can go onto BR. Before he can start he’s cut off by Jeri-Show’s music. They come stalking out together. HHH asks them to hold up his book and smile into the camera. Jericho throws the book down on the mat. The fans don’t like this. Jericho comments on HHH being out there by himself without HBK or the offensive line of the Steelers. In two weeks is BR and he’s been named team leader of SD! “You suck” chants. Jericho says SD! just celebrated its 10 year anniversary. SD! a show that has more combined episodes than Cheers and Seinfeld. SD! a show that is better because Jericho is on it. HHH says he’s right. SD! is a good show with a spineless GM that does what Vince says. It features a grumpy little troll who runs his mouth. Yes, that’s Jericho. And a show that features great, great wrestling. The type of stuff done by Khali. It’s not where near the league of RAW. Jericho said they’d see at BR. SD!’s led by him and not delinquents like DX. Big Show might technically be on RAW, but Jericho wants him on the SD! team. HHH says that’s the way it goes. Jericho speaks and Big Show does as he says. In the Jeri-Show food chain, Jericho’s on top. Jericho’s the pitcher which would mean Big Show’s the catcher… Big Show doesn’t like this. He says they’re equals. Truth be told, he carries this team. HHH says Big Show carries the team? Big Show says yes. Jericho asks Big Show what he said. Big Show said Jericho heard him and he’s not the one who got pinned last week. Jericho says he’s not the laughing stock of Sports Center after being punked by Shaq. Big Show says at least Shaq is 7 feet tall. He wasn’t punked out by a 200 year old fossil named Bob Barker. The fans are loving this! Jericho says he’ll fight Bob Barker any time, anyplace, anywhere and he knows that. He’s the best there is. Look at Big Show, new outfit, new title, looks great. He’s no longer known as the guy who was knocked out by Mayweather at WM. Big Show says he’s changed his mind, he doesn’t want to be on team SD! at BR. He wants to be on RAW! HHH says he wants to make sure he has this straight. HHH says it’s awesome, it’s great, but they don’t have any space open. But he talked to the guest hosts, he can earn his way on. Big Show asks how. HHH tells him he has to earn his spot on the team. Big Show says he can do that, who’s he facing? HHH says he’s facing Jericho. Oh, and that match is now!
The ref rings the bell and they get in each other’s faces. Jericho talks smack up at Big Show. Big Show smirks down and then a half hearted shake between them. They lock up and Jericho is easily backed into a corner and Jericho looks upset. Clean break. Jericho blows it off. Jericho backed into another corner and Jericho not happy. Big Show talks him down. Jericho with a body old on Big Show. Big Show releases it and pushes Jericho off. Chop to Big Show in a corner. Big Show reverses it and chops the heck out of Jericho. Jericho hits the mat and then outside to recuperate. Jericho about to get in, but stops and gets down. Up on the next side, then down. On the third side Big Show grabs Jericho by the head and brings him in over the top. Big Show tries to talk to him, but Jericho slaps his hand away. Big Show says they’re partners and to calm down. Jericho keeps pushing Big Show’s hands and then push Big Show. Big Show pushes Jericho away hard. Jericho tries to code breaker on Big Show, but Big Show grabs him in the air. Jericho up on a corner and talks smack. Jericho slaps Big Show who bitch slaps Jericho from the corner. Jericho plays that his knee is injured, very badly. Big Show out to talk to Jericho and make sure he’s okay. The ref is counting them out. At seven Jericho rushed the ring, but Big Show grabs him and pulls Jericho from the ring. Big Show into the ring and Jericho is counted out.
– Winner: Big Show via count out
Big Show looks down at Jericho and then leaves the ring. He looks annoyed. Big Show shakes his head at the top of the ramp and keeps going. Jericho stomps up the ramp all mad too.
King and Cole talk about Nancy O’Dell and BR. They also talk about Maria Menounos, she’s the special guest correspondent.
Maria Menounos is backstage and is happy to have two guests with her. They’re Cody and Ted. She says it’s their first appearance on RAW since HIAC. Ted says he’s fine, but wasn’t taken out on a stretcher. Cody says he’s fine and ready to compete. She asks if they’re ready to be part of the RAW team. Ted says he is. Cody says he is too. Maria says it’s not possible as there’s not room for both of them. HHH has set up a special Triple Threat Match tonight. The winner will be on team RAW. Cody asks if he’s competing against Ted. Ted asks who the third opponent is. Maria said it’s Cena. Cody has trouble keeping a straight face at that. In fact, Cody smiles twice and covered with a grimace, but it was obvious that he was fighting the giggles for some reason.
Three Indiana Pacers in the front row.
Divas Championship Match. Mickie comes bouncing out to the ring in purple and black. Jillian comes out in blue to face her.
They lock up. Side headlock on Mickie. Jillian tried a move and Mickie got out, but not cleanly. Mickie took Jillian down and then pinned for two. Mickie went for her DDT but Jillian out. Mickie reversed out of another move. Jillian into a corner and Mickie flew up onto the corner, but screwed up somehow and was slammed back. Jillian used the ropes to pin for three.
– Winner: Jillian
Jillian grabs a mic as well as the belt and tells people to grab their cameras and take a picture of the new Divas Champion. The only thing that would make it better is if she could sing her new favorite song by Lady Gaga. She starts singing, but Nancy O’Dell cuts her off. Nancy tells Jillian to stop. She’s making her ears hurt. She made a phone call to the other GM’s and made a huge trade. Jillian’s still on RAW, but she has to defend against RAW’s newest acquisition – now! She’s someone who knows about the paprazzi. Out comes Melina in copper and black. Jillian is screaming about her title belt. Melina does her split entrance and then poses in a corner. Jillian refuses to let go of the belt to Justin. She screams that it’s her’s and she won it.
Melina does her split cover for a long two. Melina hits her finisher for three.
– Winner: Melina
Melina poses with the strap. Jillian’s on the mat freaking out. Melina keeps posing. Jillian rolls out of the ring screaming and crying. Melina tells her she’s sorry, doubt Jillian heard or cared.
Video promo for Snoop Dogg who will be next week’s Special Guest Host.
Backstage HHH is talking about the RAW team. The camera pans out to show he’s talking to a cardboard cutout of HBK. HBK is also on the speaker phone. HBK says they all don’t get along the best, but it sounds pretty good. HHH says HBK seemed a little stiff about it at first. HBK says he’s feeling pretty good. HBK’s music and HBK asks why his music is playing and he’s not there. HHH says, “Oh my God, Oh my God!” Hornswoggle comes in dressed as HBK, right down to the wig. HBK says he can’t see what’s going on, the TV’s in the other room. HHH’s jaw is hanging open and he doesn’t answer quick enough. Then HHH tries to tell HBK not to leave the phone. HHH says he saw him doing the DX chop and now he’s dressed as HBK. That’s gimmick infringement! Get out of there before HBK sees. HBK’s back to the phone freaking out. HornMichaels hits “sweet chin music” on the HBK cut out. HBK’s freaking out on the phone in the background. HHH yells that he’ll save him and jumps on HornMichaels. They roll around while HBK keeps freaking on the phone.
Cole and King talk about the Diva trade and that full details will be online after RAW.
Then Santino is backstage with Maria and Nancy. He wants to be on Access Hollywood. He drops his accent and gives a great Access Hollywood type promo. Then Beth rushes in, pushes Santino out of the way and says word is that she’s been trades to SD! Nancy says she has been traded. Beth is pissed that she’s been traded and is ready to finish off Nancy’s knee. And if Nancy doesn’t call Long, she’s also going to finish off the ‘Little Greek Barbie Doll”. Maria says it’s clear everyone’s thrilled Beth’s being traded off from RAW. They laughed. Maria gets slammed back into the wall hard. Santino gets involved and gets Maria into a match with Beth. Maria looks freaked out. Beth stomps out. Santino yells to her that every time they were intimate, he faked every organism. Santino is happy, Maria looks freaked and Nancy tries to console her.
Video of how the Ironman Match between Cena and Orton came about last week.
WM promo video.
Justin announced the Triple Threat Match to find the team mate for BR. Ted and Cody out first. Cena comes out to face them.
Cody and Ted on each side of Cena. Cena clotheslined Cody and then went to work on Ted. Dropkick to Cena and they went to work on him together. They continue to double team Cena and take him down. Ted pulls Cena up and he ducks their double team. Cena double clotheslines them. Cody into a corner and then sidewalk slam on Ted. Cody over the top but not eliminated. Cole said he thought Cody was going to be eliminated there – I didn’t know this was an elimination match! Cody chop blocks Cena while Ted takes off Cena’s top half. Cody pins. Ted wanted to break it up but hesitated. They hit blows on Cena to take him down. “Cena” chants from the high pitched voices. They really work over Cena. Double team suplex on Cena. Ted stomps Cena in a corner. Cody then stomped Cena. Cody up on the second ropes and hits a bulldog on Cena. Ted and Cody both back to work on Cena in a corner. Bit boot from Ted onto a sitting Cena. Cena struggles to his feet and they double clothesline Cena. Punch from Ted on Cena. Kicks to Cena from Cody. Cena whipped and falls to the mat. Ted chokes Cena on a bottom rope. Cody rolls out under the bottom rope, but does nothing out there. Cody back in and stomps Cena. Cody over the second rope and out to choke Cena on the rope. Punches from Cody outside. Super Cena to his feet and knocks Cody from the apron. Ted clotheslines the heck out of Cena. Ted looks out at Cody and then pins Cena for two. Ted’s elbow is bleeding. Ted dumps Cena out through the ropes.
Super Cena is fighting back, but Ted clotheslines Cena. Ted pins but Cody broke it up. During the break Cody flew across the announce table, sent by Cena. Cena gets Cody up and dumps him from the ring. Ted dropkicks Cena for two. Ted rushes Cena but Cena moves and Ted gets the ring post with his shoulder. Cody rushes in and hits a swinging neckbreaker on Cena for two. Punches from Cody and another pin attempt. Knee drop to the back of Cena’s head for two. Cena hits a fishermans suplex on Cody and pins but Ted breaks it up. They both go back to working over Cena. They try to double suplex Cena, but he counters and double suplexes them. Cody sent outside. Punches to Ted and then a clothesline. Belly to belly from Cena on Ted. Back body drop on Cody who rushes in. STF on Ted but Orton rushes in and distracts Cena, but doesn’t touch him. Cody rolls Ted up for three.
– Winner: Cody
Orton has to stay between them as Ted’s about to kill Ted. Cena backs up the ramp. Nancy up on the tron gets their attention. She says they’re a tag team who doesn’t get along, so why don’t they face people who aren’t getting along. So, they will face Orton and Cena later. Orton’s still in the ring trying to calm Ted and Cody.
In the crowd are some of the Indianapolis Colts.
BR Qualifying Match. Swagger out to the ring and all bouncy. Remember, he’s guaranteed not to lose a match through the end of this year… MVP comes out to face him.
Kick to MVP’s gut but he sends Swagger flipping over. MVP whipped but up and over Swagger. Big clothesline to Swagger. They exchange punches in a corner and Swagger gets a knee into MVP’s gut. MVP sent shoulder first into the ring post. Arm bar and pulls on MVP’s arm. Swagger really works on that left arm and gets a two. Another arm hold on MVP’s left wing. Knee to MVP’s gut. MVP telegraphs and kicked for it. MVP hits a release belly to belly. Face buster on Swagger and then MVP hits ballin’ for two. Swagger slams back working that arm again. Swagger hits his gutwrench powerbomb for three.
– Winner: Swagger
Swagger is 2-0 right now. He celebrates in the ring. They show a still of who’s on the team – Big Show, HBK, HHH, Cody and Swagger.
Backstage Orton has to get between Ted and Cody again. He tells them to listen up. He’s not tagging with Cena, not listening to O’Dell. It’s a handicap match. He’s not tagging in and they’re to destroy Cena. Ted agrees but Cody doesn’t say a word. Orton gets in his face. Ted then gets pissy. Cody says he should redeem himself by pinning Orton. Orton tells them to keep on thinking. He walks off but glares back at them.
Another BR Qualifying Match. Kofi out to the ring. Evan Bourne comes out to face him.
Kofi has a side headlock on Evan. During the break Evan almost ate a huge kick from Kofi, but avoided. Arm lock on Kofi. “Kofi” chants. Evan rolls Kofi up for two. Kofi blocked a move and rolled Evan up for two. Double hand slaps to Evan’s chest took him down twice. Kofi went to fly at Evan but Evan’s foot caught him in the air. ½ Boston crab by Evan. Kofi tries to get to the ropes but can’t Kofi rolls out. Evan into the air and Kofi hits an upper cut on Evan for two. Kofi caught on the top rope for two. Kofi hit the SOS on Evan for two. Back kick to Kofi’s chest and then a knee to the face! Evan out and climbs, but jumps over Kofi who gets up. Trouble in paradise on Evan and Kofi pins for three.
– Winner: Kofi
Kofi is part of team RAW and celebrates. The fans are quite behind him. Video of high points in this match.
Backstage HHH says they’re pretty much all set for this tag match. The camera pans out to show HBK’s cutout all bandaged up. HBK says it’s great, but can he get off the phone yet? It’s been almost 2 hours. Nancy and Maria come in. Nancy asks if Maria’s ready for her match, HHH only read to her for about 20 minutes from his book. HHH pulls up the book for a cheap plug and HBK finishes the plug on the phone line. HHH says the bottom line is some have it and she does. Maria says it’s been a lifelong dream to be in a WWE ring, but she’s nervous. HHH asks if she remember what he taught her. She said he taught her like two kicks and how to put HHH in a head scissor for 15 minutes. HHH says they’re good kicks. He has her do the kicks again, but Chavo comes in. Chavo asks what HHH and Hornswoggle are up to. HHH says he doesn’t like that troll either and it’s gimmick infringement. Chavo says they’re working against Chavo. And why can’t Chavo be on team RAW? Why does HHH get to pick the team? He’s better than Big Show, can fly higher than Kofi, better looking than…. Don’t you know who he is? He should be captain. HHH told Maria to kick and she kicked Chavo in the whoo-ha. Everyone cleared out and the camera focused in on HBK’s cut out. HBK said, “If you’re not down with that, we have two words for ya…” Of course the fans finished for him.
Beth’s music, but she’s already in the ring in green. Rosa on one side of her in pink and black, Fox on the other side in black. Kelly’s music. She comes out in blue. With her is Gail Kim in lilac. Then Maria Menounos comes out to Access Hollywood music in black with Nancy O’Dell by her side. Sneak peak of Maria’s new movie ‘Serial Buddies’.
Fox and Gail in, Gail rolls Fox up for two. Maria tags in. She and Gail double team Fox with back elbows, but then Maria is alone with Fox. Maria flings Fox across the ring by her hair. Again Maria flips Fox by her hair. Fox gets Maria up over her shoulder. Maria wiggles around and out to roll up Fox for two. Fox kicks Maria and tags in Beth. Beth stares down at Fox. Maria to her feet and Beth talks smack. Maria kicks Beth, then smacks her. Maria quickly tags out. Kelly gets slammed around hard by Beth and then slammed in the heel corner. Rosa tags in, but Kelly fights back. Rosa whipped and gets a Kelly handspring back flip back splat. Rose tripped Kelly into the ropes before hitting a cheap shot on Gail. Rosa tries for a cheap shot on Maria, but Maria ducks the blow and then hangs Rosa up on the top rope. Rosa on her hands and knees and Kelly steps up on her and then flies down in a leg drop to the back of Rosa’s head! Kelly pins for three.
– Winners: Kelly, Gail & Maria Menounos
They celebrate in the ring with Nancy. Beth is on the ramp with Rosa and Fox, but it’s Beth who’s most pissed.
WWE Slam Of The Week – Kofi faced Miz last week. Kofi lost his US Championship to Miz after a slip on the ropes by Kofi.
Miz out in jeans, white shirt, tie and light grey zippered sweater. He demanded respect for the new US Champion. He asked if he was bragging too much. The fans said yes. He said the US Champion from RAW will face the IC Champion from SD! on BR. Right, he’ll be facing Morrison. They were a great tag team. Miz was the talent and Morrison was nothing more than a hairdo with abs. He said Morrison is the new Richard Simmons. In ten year’s time, while he’s still wearing bedazzled tank tops and hanging out with 400 pound women, Miz will still be the face of the best show, RAW. Because he’s the Miz, and he’s awesome! The fans all called his catch phrase with him – Interesting!
King and Cole go through the matches slated for Bragging Rights. I just noticed that King is wearing a Lawler for Mayor T-shirt (thanks to my dear boyfriend who pointed it out as I rarely look at King and Cole and only write their words).
Orton out to the ring, very slowly.
Another promo for Snoop Dogg as Guest Host next week in Jacksonville.
Orton and Legacy in the ring. Orton says speaking of next week’s host, he just got off the phone with him. He told Snoop Dogg that next week will be Cena’s last night one RAW. They both agreed that Cena will compete in one of the biggest matches of his career. Of course Orton doesn’t tell us what that match is. Cena’s music. Cole says they’ll find out who Cena will face, immediately following this match. Cena in the ring and Orton glares.
Orton goes out to ringside, not the corner he should be in. Ted in to face Cena. Back body hold on Ted and then Cena takes him down for two. Cena gets the hold back on but Ted elbows out. Punches to Cena in the heel corner. Cody chokes Cena when Ted distracts the ref. Ted works on Cena and then serious eye contact between Cody and Ted for the tag. Cody works Cena over and then Ted tags in. They double team Cena and Ted pins for two. Cena fights back but Ted manages – somehow as Cena flew at him so hard Ted could barely keep hold of Super Cena – a scoop slam (Ted had to run sideways to keep hold of Cena in the air as Cena was moving so fast when he got to Ted. That made the move look really bad on Ted’s side, even though it was Cena’s fault.) Ted pinned for two. Cody tags in, Ted holds Cena and Cody punches. Cody locks on some sort of submission hold on Cena, wrenching his head back with Cena’s arm wrapped around his leg. (It’s obvious that Cody barely has a hold around Cena’s neck.) Cena to his feet and Cody’s so short he has to let go. Cena slams Cody to the mat. Both are down, but Cena up and rushes over to tag in Orton. Orton wasn’t looking and Cena hit his arm – Orton’s legal. Side headlock on Cody, but Cody rolls Orton up quickly. Orton looks pissed! Cody backs Orton into the heel corner. Ted tags in and rolls Orton up for two, twice! Orton rushes over and tags in Cena. Cena glares at him but Orton’s truly pissed – seething. They stare off but then Super Cena in with shoulder block and then a slam on Ted. Five knuckle shuffle on Ted, but as Cena hit the ropes Orton tagged himself in. Cena finished the move and then came in to attack Cena with punches and stomps in their corner. Ted grabs Orton from behind and rolls him up for three!
– Winner: Ted & Cody!
Ted and Cody fled the ring because Orton was PISSED. Orton screamed out at Ted about the pin. Cena grabbed Orton and hit the AA on him. (You know, I drove through West Newburyport this past weekend and I have to say it doesn’t look any different for having a super hero from there than it looked 15 years ago. You’d think that for creating Super Cena the town would have somehow changed.) Up on the tron shows who Cena will be facing next week… HHH. Cena looks a little ill about this.