Cewsh Reviews: The Third Annual Cewsh Reviews Year End Awards

Welcome cats and kittens to the third annual Cewsh Reviews End of Year Awards.  Quite a bit has happened to Cewsh Reviews in the past year, from getting on the Rajah mainpage to finding a dollar on the sidewalk that we bought a Snickers with and everything in between.  So now we’ll take this time to look back on the year that was, now that we’re a few weeks safely removed from it.  So what sets our end of year awards apart from the ones you were endlessly spammed with in December?  Simple.  SCIENCE!

Famous Last Words.

Each match that we reviewed this year was compiled and averaged out to determine the score for each wrestler’s full year.  We only included wrestlers who had at least 3 matches this year that we reviewed, and for the purposes of these awards we used my (meaning Cewsh’s) ratings.  For reference, anyone receiving a cumulative average score of 60 – 69 is considered to have passed in terms of having been part of enjoyable matches in the past year.  An average of 70 – 79 means that your matches were consistently good, if not particularly special, and a score of 80 – 89 means you had really good to great matches so consistently that your entire year qualifies for a Download Seal of Approval.  Should anyone crest the diamond mountains of the 90 – 100 range, it should probably go without saying that they are some kind of goddamn sorcerer.

Alright, everybody good? Nobody fall asleep during that? Well then let’s let down the curtains, fire up the band, and get this jungle party started!

The Good:

Match of the Year:

WWE Wrestlemania XXVI I- Triple H vs. The Undertaker – No Holds Barred – 99 out of 100.

Male Wrestler of the Year:

Hiroshi Tanahashi (New Japan) – 88.66 out of 100. 

Female Wrestler of the Year:

Beth Phoenix (WWE) – 73.8 out of 100.

Favorite Male Wrestler of the Year:

Brother Devon (TNA)

Favorite Female Wrestler of the Year:

Madison Eagles (SHIMMER)

Show of the Year:

TNA Destination X 2011 – 82.16 out of 100 (The Highest Rated Show In Our History).

Best Mic Skills of the Year:

CM Punk (WWE)

Feud of the Year:

Bully Ray vs. Brother Devon (TNA)

Best Gimmick of the Year:<

Jeff Hardy (TNA)- Corporate Chaos.

Most Surprising Wrestler of the Year:

Toru Yano (New Japan) – 75.66 out of 100.

Rookie of the Year:

Crimson (TNA) – 69.33 out of 100.

The Bad:

Worst Match of the Year:

TNA Victory Road – Jeff Hardy vs. Sting – 0 out of 100.

Worst Male Wrestler of the Year:

Jeff Hardy (TNA) – 54.4 out of 100.

Least Favorite Male Wrestler of the Year:

Kofi Kingston (WWE)

Worst Female Wrestler of the Year:

Mickie James (TNA) – 49.71 out of 100.

Least Favorite Female Wrestler of the Year: 

Mickie James (TNA)

Worst Mic Skills of the Year:

Matt Morgan (TNA) 

Worst Feud of the Year:

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler (WWE)

Worst Gimmick of the Year:

Roderick Strong (ROH) – Himself

Most Disappointing Wrestler of the Year:

Samoa Joe (TNA) – 70.2 out of 100.

Veteran Most in Need of Retirement:

Kevin Nash (WWE)

The Tanooki:
Gif of The Year:

3rd Place. Jack Evans Gets Merked. (TNA Destination X 2011)

2nd Place. The Ultra Shining Wizard. (DDT Peter Pan in Ryogoku 2011)

1st Place. Jesse Sorenson Is Popular With Children. (TNA Turning Point 2011)

Best Cameo By A Bear In Cewsh Reviews:

WSU 4th Anniversary Show

Best Search Term Used To Find Cewsh Reviews On Google:

Aardvark Fucking.

Most Blasphemous Boast Made On Someone’s Attire:

Best Picture We Never Got To Use:

Moment of the Year:

The Greatest Heist In Wrestling History.

Alright, that’ll do it for us and for 2011, boys and girls.  We hope you enjoyed the year and our awards, and now both can be filed under “Irrelevant” until nostalgia makes them cool again ten years from now.  So let’s look on towards the bright lights and brighter future of 2012, and bask in the warm glow of a year that hasn’t had time to suck yet.  Happy trails, kids.

Hey, dear reader, did you enjoy this review? Did you want to leave hateful messages to the authors that will leave searing trails across their souls? Would you just like to see a picture I drew of a dinosaur one time? Then head right on over to our blog at Cewsh Reviews: The Blog Relationship and carpentry advice is also available via email at cewshreviews@gmail.com.

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